176 -Morgue Now Open 24 Hours

People prefer to stay away from the morgue. I don’t think it’s the décor. They’re all decorated pretty much the same way and while they all do a good job with refrigeration, I don’t suppose many of them have large screen plasma television with the full cable movie package. So, except for their basic functionality, I think we can all agree, morgues are pretty dull places.

I know. This is the first Naïve ad that I’ve done in about 67 months. I’m falling behind in my plan to do these more frequently. I’m sure I can do better. What I’m not sure of is: Will I do better!

175 – New Cars Just $25 Per Mo.

In the “old” days I remember a TV show (the name escapes me) that opened by mentioning that a con-man is a person who will slap you on the back with one hand and pick your pocket with the other. My personal experience is that the car dealer simply tries to maximize profits. Nothing wrong with that. My suggestion though, is to go the other way. lower initial profit and thus keep the customer with great service the rest of their life. Another thought. Give me the car free and I’ll marry you.

Many, many thanks for your visit. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Send me several thousand bucks and I’ll personally give you an electronic smile and a handshake. (Oh yes, I really do appreciate your visits.)

174 – Get Thousands of MPG

My car is a Buick Roadmaster. It was originally built to deplete the world supply of oil and now simply irritates owners every three to five miles when it needs gas. On the plus side, the Buick Roadmaster is the civilian equivalent of the famous M1 Tank and with its 5.7 liter engine, it can, when connected to a generator, power the the entire GM plant that produced the car. It gives one a genuine sense of entitlement!

Thanks for your continued interest in this blog! Any comments are hereby solicited and for those who have made comments, your new car is in the mail.

173 – Change the Weather!

Life really gets frustrating. yes? Like when you leave the house on a nice sunny morning only to kick your self for not taking the umbrella when it rains that afternoon. You know, don’t you, that the same kind of thing happens the other way around. You did, in fact, remember to bring the umbrella. What you forgot, however, was to take it inside with you. Now it’s raining more than at the time of the great flood and you are stuck in the office while your umbrella is outside protecting the inside of your car!

I’m looking forward to the time I can keep a supply of umbrellas — the house, the car, next to the tree half way between my house and my car. Or, I suppose I could just learn to love the rain. And oh yes, thanks for taking the time to visit. More to come.

172 – Cable TV 2

I’m not sure we could live without cable TV. It entertains. It educates. It stimulates. It keeps us informed and, late at night, we get to know all about erectile disfunction, fat, toenail fungus, buying houses with no money down, etc. I know it thrills me.

It won’t be too long before there will be 200 Naïve ads. I thought it might be a good idea (and one that saves me from having to create a new ad) if I had you all submit your list of the five best Naïve ads. You can go to my archives (on the right of the page) and check out some that you feel are the most memorable. I sure hope this works. I’d hate to have to post a blank page if no one submits their choice. Thanks for visiting.

171 – Full Service Morgue 3

There can be no doubt. A morgue is one of those places. You know. THOSE places. It isn’t a nice place to visit and you definitely wouldn’t live there, if you follow my meaning. But then again, there is always Mythington.

The american service of the BBC had an article the other day that caught my attention. They asked listeners to write in and help define the word “friend.” One person emailed: “A friend is someone who will help you move. A really good friend is someone who will help you move a body.” Well, in the colonies, we have a name for that kind of friend. We call them accomplices. As always, thanks for visiting here. Comment if you please, won’t you… please?