146 – La Billiards Bald Wigs

I wonder just what it is with “bad hair” days. Fuzzy, split ends? Dry, lack-luster hair? I mean, you often hear people on a carry on about “this is a bad hair day!” You never hear people joyously jumping around about how really good a day it is for their hair. Are people fixated on the “bad” and oblivious to the “good” days? Don’t even get me started on the possibility of mediocre hair days.

I hope you had a “good” holiday and that, if so, you continue to have many, many more of them. If it wasn’t good, perhaps a bald wig would help. Ha. I just saw a smile. Keep it up. And, thanks for visiting this blog. I appreciate it very muchly. (I’m moving in to my adverbial phase.)

145 – Psychic Palm Reading

Once again I may be accused of misleading headlines. Well, so be it. “Psychic Palm Reading” is what it is called, but I have a feeling that someone will arrive here thinking that a psychic palm reading would be just the thing. Unfortunately, this is not the place. I mean, I could provide a psychic palm reading but this place isn’t real. It’s a joke!

I find myself in an “I’m sorry” mode again. As much as I have wanted to post more “Naïve” ads, I have been caught in a whirlwind of complications. I’ll try to un-complicate things but, who knows what will happen. Stick with me. We’ll tough it out somehow. There will be a brighter day. We’ll live through it. Oh. By the way, thanks for visiting.

144 – Smily Faces II

I’ve never understood the popularity of smily faces. The things are everywhere and people just love them. Now, I’m not a grouch, I don’t think, but after the initial impact and given a few weeks of recovery, once you’ve seen a smily face, you’ve pretty much seen them all. Over time the smily face has become the visual equivalent of an aphorism — a cliché. Don’t you just hate a cliché? Have a nice day.

This is an urgent call. Please, oh please. Write a comment, won’t you? If you do, I will make sure you are made an honorary citizen of Mythington complete with a certificate of a town key and a great big wet kiss from the town mayer, if desired. And Thanks for visiting this site. I really do appreciate anyone who isn’t serious enough to read this stuff.

143 – Lotto Ticket Investment Company

There is no doubt that with the downturn in the economy, more people will put money into the lotto. When you think about it, it is the only chance most people have of ever making that kind of money — even if they work their fingers to the marrow. On the other hand, I don’t play the lotto because I want the money. No. I play the lotto because it is a game and I play for fun. Really. I can’t think of a way to more enjoyably throw so much money away.

Now, if only you could find it in your heart to send me a bunch of money. I’ll buy lotto tickets and if I win, I would gladly give you a great big smile and a hand shake. While I await your generosity, I will take the time to thank you for visiting here. It’s nice to know that there are readers. Come back from time to time, yes?

142 – Mega Mic (Really Super Microwave)

We once cooked a holiday turkey. No. I did not forget to take out the little bag they hide in the cavity. That would be stupid. I forgot to remove the stuffing from the oven… until desert.

A quick word about the lateness of these posting as of late. Many of you know that I take care of my 92 year old mom. I’m not going to tell you that she has been staying out late and being brought home from the bar nearly every night by the police. OK? I’m not going to tell you that. But I will say that there seems a lot more to do lately and I can only find time to post these Naïve Ads in the evening. I do intend to keep plugging away at them and would be very encouraged by your comments. And, as usual, I will now use this space to say just four words of appreciation for your visits here. I appreciate your visits here. (I added the extra word because I really do appreciate your visits.)

141 – Mythington Home Security

Like a lot of young children, I was fascinated by a Codes and Cyphers book I found. I couldn’t get enough of it. Letter, word and number substitutions, mirror writing, disappearing ink — wow! This stuff captured me and provided unmeasured amusement . Growing up I stumbled on J.R.R. Tolkien’s “Hobbit” and translated the dwarf runes written on the book cover. Oh yes. Here is a tip: To read the memo below, use a mirror.

As I have said so many times before but never tire of saying, thank you for taking your time to visit this blog. Sometimes, I fall behind in putting these thingies together and for that I apologize. Your comments will be rewarded with many thousands of dollars, I’m pretty sure. So try to comment. You can’t lose and who knows, maybe the bucks will roll in.

140 – High Quality Riff-Raff

OK. Riff-Raff (stage name Richard O’Brien) was, for those of you who don’t know, a very colorful writer of, and character in, “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” movie. The Riff-Raff in this “Naïve” ad is not intended to reflect poorly on Mr. O’Brien. Rather, it is descriptive of a kind of person who has earned an unsavory reputation (see Riff-Raff in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” To my way of thinking, “High Quality” Riff-Raff is really the only type to hang with — that is socially and from a corrections point of view.

…”Rocky Horror” was, indeed, one weird movie. I don’t suppose that I saw it more than 43 times and am still very suspicious when my car gets a flat at night, in the rain. But it is a great deal of fun. You should see it some midnight (If it is new to you, check http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073629/ (and watch the trailers) before even thinking about going — and go with a rain coat, of course). While I wait for that to happen, I do want to thank you for taking the time to visit here. I makes me glad to know that someone other than me actually looks at these things. Comments are encouraged.

139 – We’ll Flaunt It

Advertising is such an exciting sport. Some day, just for the fun of it, count the number of ads you are exposed to in, lets say, one full hour. Don’t forget to include the brands on your coffee maker, the butter on your toast, the bread, butter knife your watch, your washing machine. Turn on the radio or TV. Be sure you include the beer, the skin cleanser, and the hemorrhoid treatment. And, oh yes. The name of your radio or TV and the station. You just can’t get away from something related to advertising. And one more thing. You are reading “Addifferent: When Advertising was Naïve.”

I just thought I’d spend a moment or two thanking you for visiting here. I try to do one or two each day — but sometimes skip a day or two. It’s fun to poke fun and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Make comments if you wish. I can take it.

138 – Kiss Of Death Steakhouse

I do a lot of cooking at home but I (excuse the word) “relish” going out to eat at a really good dress-up, sit-down restaurant. Italian is my heritage and my preference. But at my age now, I’ve discovered that gravity pulls down harder than it used to and that my belts and pants are somehow getting smaller. And I have made a most remarkable discovery concerning all this. I happen to see one of those weight to height health tables. It clearly shows that I have failed over these years to reach to my full intended stature. I am currently working hard to grow taller and figure it will only take seven more inches for me to arrive at my proper weight to height ratio!

Well, after looking at myself in the mirror, I can say with confidence that I am not too large to say thanks for visiting this blog. Most days I am able to produce one or two “Naïve” ads. Your comments are encouraged since getting comments will certainly encourage me to continue. Thanks for your support and feel free to return tomorrow for more of this inconsequential falderal. (Don’t worry. I had to look up “falderal.” I’m paraphrasing here, but essentially, “falderal” means “When Advertising Was Naïve.”)

137 – Have Operation Done On Layaway (Parody)

No. Hospitals don’t do operations on layaway. I know that… but if they did, I could start paying on heart, lungs, liver, even the brain. You just never know when something will go bad. In this “Naïve” ad, the Surgery Den is clearly on the the side of potential patients. Look at what they offer. FREE organ removal. Ask your local hospital to match that! And while two operations would be genuinely expensive, the Surgery Den provides two for a single low price. There are no low prices at our local hospital. I checked.

You are encouraged to comment. I’d like that. Perhaps you have something to say. Perhaps you just want to put me in my place. Either way, something happens and something is always better than nothing. To help things along, I would be happy to reward you with a check but as you have probably guessed, I’m pretty much broke. So while I’d be happy, to do so would make me quite unhappy. On the other hand, it would be just another overdraft fee.

136 – Make New Friends

If you arrived here because of the title “Make New Friends” and you were looking for new friends, I can only suggest that we become friends. I try to publish one new “Naïve” ad parody each day and I hope that this might appeal to you. If, on the other hand, it isn’t all that appealing, we can still be friends, only maybe not that close.

Once again, thank you for returning after I returned from my T-Day vacation and the Turkey stupor that it caused. I am glad that someone, anyone, reads these “Naïve” little ads. They are fun to do and, I hope, fun for you to read. With any luck, there will be another one tomorrow!