182 – Kiss of Death Steakhouse Sushi

George Bill — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 02:50:10 +0000

I’ve always wondered if people who eat sushi also eat raw pork, raw chicken, or, for that matter, eat in the raw. I, for one, like cooked foods. If it moves on the plate, I check for earth quakes. Short of one, I would never eat a wriggle thing on my plate. Oh, I suppose I’d make an exception for flavored gelatin provided I knew its origins.

Some of you must have been telling your friends about this blog. My hits have been going up a bit lately. I hope you are telling your friends and not referring it to your enemies. No. Wait. If it increases my numbers, I’ll accept them too. Comments are welcome, encouraged, solicited, even sought after by way of Divine intervention. Thank you for spending your time here

181 – The New Mythington Newspaper

George Bill — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 21:37:54 +0000

When I was little (pre school) I used to enjoy the comic pages of the local newspaper. It wasn’t until much later that I discovered that newspapers actually were intended to provide news. Then it all fell in place. It was a “news” paper and told stuff about stuff and I found all that stuff interesting. It seems like newspapers might not be around much longer. Consequently, I’ve been reading them a lot… so I don’t forget about them.

This blog might replace newspapers. Well, not exactly THIS blog but blogs in general as well as online things such as Twitter, Facebook, etc. And that is OK but I still want real, hold in my hand, let me crumble it or use it as packing material when I’m done, paper. With a real newspaper, I can be loaded but the paper doesn’t have to be. It just has to be within reach. Thanks for reading this non-paper.

180 – Will Not Be Undersold

George Bill — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 01:18:33 +0000

You probably don’t know but I’ve never been on an ocean liner. No. It’s true. In my earlier years I’ve been fishing with my dad… from a rowboat. But a big ocean liner, I don’t think I would have forgotten that. I’d like to buy an ocean liner but I just don’t have the money. And I could have really used the $10.00

Ok, Ok. I didn’t like the above all that much either. But you know, sometimes one just has to give in to baser instincts. Oh wait. I threw that post away. This is its replacement. Wow. I could have been in a lot of trouble. Thanks for sticking with me, however. Maybe I’ll lower the bar sometime and post something really disgusting. Keep looking in. You never know. Thinks for your visit this time.

179 – New Phone Company Policy

George Bill — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 21:14:19 +0000

No! I am not opposed to the phone company. In fact, I currently subscribe to three different phone services. But have you ever looked at the phone bill. Every item is broken down to such a degree it’s impossible to decipher where all the hard earned dollars are going. I’ve decided to simplify my life. I am connecting to everyone I know with tin cans and string. It works. Really. Ok… it does have some drawbacks. You really need to empty the cans or things get very mushy and I haven’t worked out that mobile thing yet.

Once again I want to express my great appreciation. That anyone would risk their standing in the community to click in here and actually read this stuff amazes me. I promise not to tell anyone who you are — it’s just my way of keeping you from having to explain your lapse of sanity.

178 – Joe’s Big Sale

George Bill — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 20:29:36 +0000

Have you ever noticed that “sales” often happen on days when the money is thin. Now, in my case that means that I can only afford a left sock but for many other people it just means that they had no plans to use that money except for other frivolous purchases such as food or to pay the gas bill. Timing is everything. I am convinced that should I win the million dollar lotto, there will be a sale for something I simply must have and it only costs $9,999,999.99. And so it goes.

You may have noticed a pattern for this bottom section of these posts. Normally, I reserve this space for a great big thank you for visiting. This time, however, I think I’ll do the same thing. No sense in interrupting a tradition. Thanks for visiting.

177 – Pauline’s Pachyderm Palace

George Bill — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 14:00:29 +0000

I mean, this is ridiculous! I’ve lived to a ripe old age and I have never seen more than six or seven neighbors with a pachyderm (or rhino, or a hippo) in need of being picked up or trained. Pauline is going to have a heck of a time in her business. And, by the way, don’t you just hate it when you come home and find pachyderm hair all over your sofa?

Your continued support is greatly appreciated. I’m pretty sure your comments will be rewarded. If not, go ahead and make comments anyway. It’s the right thing to do.

176 -Morgue Now Open 24 Hours

George Bill — Sat, 30 May 2009 18:06:17 +0000

People prefer to stay away from the morgue. I don’t think it’s the décor. They’re all decorated pretty much the same way and while they all do a good job with refrigeration, I don’t suppose many of them have large screen plasma television with the full cable movie package. So, except for their basic functionality, I think we can all agree, morgues are pretty dull places.

I know. This is the first Naïve ad that I’ve done in about 67 months. I’m falling behind in my plan to do these more frequently. I’m sure I can do better. What I’m not sure of is: Will I do better!

175 – New Cars Just $25 Per Mo.

George Bill — Wed, 20 May 2009 04:05:08 +0000

In the “old” days I remember a TV show (the name escapes me) that opened by mentioning that a con-man is a person who will slap you on the back with one hand and pick your pocket with the other. My personal experience is that the car dealer simply tries to maximize profits. Nothing wrong with that. My suggestion though, is to go the other way. lower initial profit and thus keep the customer with great service the rest of their life. Another thought. Give me the car free and I’ll marry you.

Many, many thanks for your visit. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Send me several thousand bucks and I’ll personally give you an electronic smile and a handshake. (Oh yes, I really do appreciate your visits.)

174 – Get Thousands of MPG

George Bill — Fri, 15 May 2009 12:10:24 +0000

My car is a Buick Roadmaster. It was originally built to deplete the world supply of oil and now simply irritates owners every three to five miles when it needs gas. On the plus side, the Buick Roadmaster is the civilian equivalent of the famous M1 Tank and with its 5.7 liter engine, it can, when connected to a generator, power the the entire GM plant that produced the car. It gives one a genuine sense of entitlement!

Thanks for your continued interest in this blog! Any comments are hereby solicited and for those who have made comments, your new car is in the mail.

173 – Change the Weather!

George Bill — Tue, 12 May 2009 04:52:29 +0000

Life really gets frustrating. yes? Like when you leave the house on a nice sunny morning only to kick your self for not taking the umbrella when it rains that afternoon. You know, don’t you, that the same kind of thing happens the other way around. You did, in fact, remember to bring the umbrella. What you forgot, however, was to take it inside with you. Now it’s raining more than at the time of the great flood and you are stuck in the office while your umbrella is outside protecting the inside of your car!

I’m looking forward to the time I can keep a supply of umbrellas — the house, the car, next to the tree half way between my house and my car. Or, I suppose I could just learn to love the rain. And oh yes, thanks for taking the time to visit. More to come.